Eat This Beef, brah
WELCOME TO DFW'S UNDISPUTED MOST EPIC BURGER RANKING PUBLICATION OF ALL TIME

Hi! Thanks for stopping by. Eat this beef has been searching for the best burgers in Dallas, TX for six years and our life long quest continues to this day. We check out new places almost every week so drop in again as the top ten is ever-evolving. ETB is burger centric in that we're not concerned with price, atmosphere, service, etc. It's all about the burger. We will however comment on the aforementioned if the restaurant delivers above and beyond. We prefer a "best of the best" short list as opposed to a lengthy list of options coupled with a complicated ranking system. Less is more.

Established in 2010, eat this beef has cataloged 197 burgers in the DFW area to date.

BURGERS THAT JUST MET OUR BELLIES

Dot's Hop House & Cocktail Courtyard - The Club Schmitz Burger

2645 Commerce St, Dallas, TX 75226Street View

Dot's Hop House & Cocktail Courtyard's The Club Schmitz Burger

Man this one had potential. Love the fact that they recommissioned Club Schmit'z grill so all that flavor didn't go to waste in a dumpster somewhere. The bun had trouble supporting the beef blend (it looks like a chef hat!) but overall this was a tasty burger. Average LTO but hey that's better than no LTO. 10/10 would return.

Masticated in: Apr 2017

Wheelhouse - The Standard Burger

1617 Hi Line Dr, Dallas, TX 75207Street View

Wheelhouse's The Standard Burger

Sadly, the Standard Burger was well below what we at ETB would even consider acceptable let alone standard setting in any way. How ya even gonna call it a standard burger when your LTO is just a limp pile of yesterday's shredded L? Maybe they thought they were in the clear because they did put some fat-cut bread and butter pickles on top. Nope! The obtrusively sweet flavor of those misplaced pickles took front and center over whatever that "special sauce" was supposed to be.

Masticated in: Apr 2017

Olive Burger - House Cheese Burger

451 W Arapaho Rd, Dallas, TX 75080Street View

Olive Burger's House Cheese Burger

A fine effort. I'd love to know how Olive Burger gets their buns perfectly toasty. Love the size of the patty and the heat from the jalapenos, but the mushroom and onions got lost in the mix. Also, the fries were extra crispy and delicious!

Masticated in: Apr 2017

Filament - Filament Burger

2626 Main St, Dallas, TX 75226Street View

Filament's Filament Burger

Filament: just when we thought you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this ... and TOTALLY redeem yourself! When we first came to Filament the burger was f'n delicious, but not mind bending enough to land itself a spot on the top ten, until now. Their play on the big mac burger is legendary: suuuuper crispy patties, damn near identical special sauce, and they added veggies (thank the burger Gods). Do yourself a favor and hit Filament for this lascivious creation.

Masticated in: Mar 2017

Chelsea Corner - Chelsea Backyard Burger

4830 McKinney Ave, Dallas, TX 75205Street View

Chelsea Corner's Chelsea Backyard Burger

A quick glance at the veg tells the tale here, but what can you expect from Uptown's notoriously bad burgers -- as the restaurants that come and go here favor booze over food. Anyway, patty was well done and the bun was chalky, but you know we ate all of it anyway. Bc burgers.

Masticated in: Mar 2017

La Duni - Ribeye Burger

8687 N. Central Expy, Dallas, TX 75225Street View

La Duni's Ribeye Burger

La Duni obvs bakes their bun in house which already sets it apart. The patty is brittle, bright red, and delicious. Also the yucca fries are unstoppable. God damn, why haven't we had their burger before!?

Masticated in: Mar 2017

Bowl & Barrel - Bacon Burger

8084 Park Ln, Dallas, TX 75231Street View

Bowl & Barrel's Bacon Burger

We were not expecting this gem at a bowling alley. The egg bun, bacon, greens, and ketchup pair together in harmony unlike any ketchup based burger we've had. It's temping but we're going to keep this one @ honorable mention for now. Also, you can throw a ball down a lane if you're into that sorta thing.

Masticated in: Mar 2017

E.J. Wills Gastropub - The Garbage Burger

18208 Preston Road, Dallas, TX 75252Street View

E.J. Wills Gastropub's The Garbage Burger

Holy mother of Burger. Look at this thing. Topped with sliced turkey, red leaf lettuce, tomato, red cabbage, jalapeno bacon, mac and cheese, cheese sauce, and a fried onion. The patty was perfectly cooked to order and overall this sandwich was delicious, however expect it to fall apart after a few bites because there's simply too much going on here.

Masticated in: Feb 2017

Haystack Burgers & Barley - Haystack Burgers & Barley

100 S Central Expy, Richardson, TX 75080Street View

Haystack Burgers & Barley's Haystack Burgers & Barley

Haystack delivers a damn fine burger. The patties come out medium which isn't bad, bun is freshly griddled, and the veg is on point. We want to try the chicken fried burger next time. See ya then!

Masticated in: Feb 2017

Shady's Burger Joint - Shady's Burger

9661 Audelia Rd, Dallas, TX 75238Street View

Shady's Burger Joint's Shady's Burger

Shady's is a decent local spot tucked away in suburbia. Cooked to order and tasty overall. The bun has a strong potato flavor and it's not toasted or griddled which left us confused. Check em out if you're in the area.

Masticated in: Jan 2017

Sixty Vines - The C.A.B. Burger

3701 Dallas Parkway, Plano, TX 75093Street View

Sixty Vines's The C.A.B. Burger

The C.A.B Burger entices with the description of a cabernet smothered local Akaushi patty but horrifies when the reality of a balsamic soaked sloppy joe hit the table. The Akaushi patty may have been partially to blame -- simply crumbled into an unfortunate slather. The patty itself was flavorless. The tomato looked embarrassed to be there and the caramelized onion just seemed like a last ditch effort to balance out the overpowering awfulness of that damn cheap wine it seemed like some kitchen noob accidentally spilled all over this burger. The "everything bun" from Esmerelda's French bakery in Dallas was lovely and did not deserve to go down with this wine-sunken ship.

Masticated in: Jan 2017

Lakewood Smokehouse - Smoked Cheeseburger

1901 Abrams Rd, Dallas, TX 75214Street View

Lakewood Smokehouse's Smoked Cheeseburger

NOTE: This burger is off-menu! The server didn't hesitate when I asked for it so you should be OK. We didn't taste much smoke flavor in the patty at all, however it was cooked to order. This burger is tasty, but we can't justify a reason that tempts us to return. We recommend checking out Liberty Burger next door instead. The burnt ends here though -- nommzzzzzzzz.

Masticated in: Jan 2017

The Honor Bar - Honor Burger

26 Highland Park Village, Dallas, TX 75205Street View

The Honor Bar's Honor Burger

The Honor Bar is a new addition to the Hillstone Group's collection of fancy restaurants. When we say fancy we mean it: there's a sign on the door that reads 'proper attire required' lols. Holy crap the slaw on this burger is to die for, what a unique addition. Patty was brittle and cooked to order. We reeeeally want to put this one on the top ten but it's much like the burger at R+D so we couldn't justify the bump. Stay tuned!

Masticated in: Dec 2016

Stirr - Stirr Crazy

2803 Main Street, Dallas, TX 75226Street View

Stirr's Stirr Crazy

Look at that cute little bacon square! The half-pound chuck and brisket patty was moist and cooked perfectly, veg was top notch, and the bun came from some delicious bakery whose name escapes us. Also the crispy tobacco onions on the Cow + Pig burger were surprisingly tasty and not overpowering. An ETB first!

Masticated in: Dec 2016

Haymaker - Texan Burger

1520 Greenville Ave, Dallas, TX 75206Street View

Haymaker's Texan Burger

There was more bun than burger in every bite, patty was sadly way overcooked and dry, and the veg was weak af. Keep moving my friends.

Masticated in: Nov 2016

Cedar Grove - Grovey Burger

4123 Cedar Springs Road, Dallas, TX 75219Street View

Cedar Grove's Grovey Burger

We had to look some things up that came with this burger: maitake is a mushroom and port salut is a cow's milk cheese. Pretty fancy and pretty tasty and the proportions are on point with this one. We wouldn't mind eating this burger again.

Masticated in: Oct 2016

TJ's Seafood - The Yacht Club Burger

6025 Royal Lane, Dallas, TX 75230Street View

TJ's Seafood's The Yacht Club Burger

TJ's effort is definitely worth the visit for its unique qualities like the pretzel bun and onion jam, but you gotta be into those sort of things, like the pretzel flavor and its sponginess coupled with the sweetness of the onion jam. We can't handle so much sweet with our beef, but you need to see for yourself! NOTE: The burger is ONLY avilable at the Preston & Royal location.

Masticated in: Sep 2016

The Grape Restaurant - The "Best Burger In Texas"

2808 Greenville Ave, Dallas, TX 75206Street View

The Grape Restaurant's The "Best Burger In Texas"

Texas Monthly magazine deemed this burger the best in Texas in 2009. It's still only available during Sunday brunch and reservations are recommended due to demand. We obviously don't agree with Texas Monthly, but it's a damn good burger. Get you some.

Masticated in: Sep 2016

Morton's The Steakhouse - Morton's Prime Burger

2222 McKinney Ave., Dallas, TX 75201Street View

Morton's The Steakhouse's Morton's Prime Burger

It was good, but the patty fell apart upon eating and turned into a right mess. We expect much much more from a $20 lunch burger, but I guess you get what you ask for in Uptown.

Masticated in: Sep 2016

The Theodore - The Theodore Burger on a Sweet Yeast Roll

8687 North Central Expressway, Dallas, TX 75225Street View

The Theodore's The Theodore Burger on a Sweet Yeast Roll

I said god damn. The Theodore bakes all their bread in house and it obvious that they're doing it right. The grind is mighty tasty, packed right, and juicy. Also the garlic aioli is 100% on point. It's located in the NorthPark mall but it's well worth battling your way through to find this gem of a burger.

Masticated in: Sep 2016